When a woman thinks about marriage, getting swept off the feet by a prince charming on a white horse and the notion of ‘living happily ever after’ is hard to suppress. Save My Marriage Though many women may argue that they think quite practically about relationships; still, my experience shows that women are more prone to getting all emotional over a relationship than men. What a man might visualize about marriage is nothing short of getting a big house, a blooming business and a housekeeping perfect wife to come home to. That is exactly how different both their perceptions for the same notion are. The reason for me to take up this discussion was because lately I have been getting all sorts of cases where the wife is complaining about how her husband demands her money or where the wife faces misbehavior from the husband merely because she earns more than her husband. These women are torn apart in their hearts as they simply cannot decide how to react to this.
What women should understand is that the financial issues in a relationship are often the reason behind marital troubles. I have emphasized time and again, that women need to confront the money matters beforehand of the marriage. Couples need to sit together and decide an arrangement of the household budget; especially, when both are bringing bread in the house. When this step is practiced, any variations in the job of either of the partners in marriage do not waver the balance of power.
You have asked me about how to react as your co-habited boyfriend desires to have the earnings combined. Relationship Advice For Men The fact that you two are not married and still got a house together means that you, in particular, are being taken advantage of. Considering how your earnings are greater than his, you should have decided on a system to utilize the money in the household before buying the house together to settle down. I completely agree with your point of view, about not owing him anything other than the utility bills that you share; especially as you have two kids of your own to look after. And I also agree that he simply wanted to move in with you along with his two kids to get a better life and more money (not this own) to have at his expense. Since you already are on the brim of companionship trouble, I would refrain from saying that you should have detected about his ways from little habits every now and then before getting into a living arrangement with him.
But, let’s focus on what you can do now. Firstly, I think it’s about time you two sat together like mature people (preferably without the kids around) and discussed about the issue. The fact that you feel threatened by his behavior and are uncomfortable in combining the finances should be told to him in a strong manner. Make him understand that it is not about power, but all about fair distribution. Men often think that if they earn less, their status in a household gets diminished and so they are prone to misbehave. Ignore his verbal abuse and tell him that he can take your way or you can sell the house and move apart once and for all. Be sure not to fall into the emotional state as he replies; this is a question of your respect and the future of your kids. I would suggest that you start planning a move out, in case it gets decided. http://www.lighthisfire.com
Remember, you owe him nothing as you are not married and as you are not being selfish by not sharing your earnings; he has a job doesn’t he? So why can’t he support himself!